Hello W.O.K.E. friends!
It’s your girls Jenny and L.Renee with our launch of MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT. A back and forth between a single and married lady, respectively.
Renee is all caught up with the awesome insanity and we’re off to the races! We’re now on Season 12 of this shocking and baffling reality tv show series on Lifetime. 5 Couples, sight unseen are matched up by experts, married sight unseen and live happily ever after. Or do they?
Jenny: Hello Everyone! Another season of Married at First Sight! I find this show fascinating because marriage is still such a part of the social construct that people see it as an integral part of an ideal life plan. This year has a whole new level of insanity because they want it so badly they are doing it in the middle of a pandemic! What are your thoughts about this season so far, Renee’?
Renee’: It’s the pandemic for me, girl! Also, this season is a super snooze fest. Sorry, but it’s boring as hell. They only made some bad matches to make it interesting. There’s a whole lot I want to unpack about each of these folks as we look at Episodes 1-4 and then round off with a catch-me-up recap. Who do you want to start with? Let’s make it interesting and sprinkle the snooze with the loos-ERs.
Jenny: Well, I think the obvious unpack is Paige and Chris. Off the bat, poor Paige. She’s a bit batty with the religious zealotry, thinking this is written and God’s will. Whatever God has meant you to get from this, it’s not that Chris is meant to be your husband.
Renee’: Well, the ladies at the shop had a real field day with that couple. Some of my “seasoned” customers had a LOT to say about Chris’ parents as well. The thirsty dad, the “Think Like a Man” mom, and the smiling auntie, were all a topic of conversation under the hairdryers today.
We even laughed at one lady on Twitter saying Chris needs to be in jail. (My stomach hurts from laughing so hard)
And then. The way this man-made such a big deal of her opening up to her in-laws is so trash! I just...cannot stand his stank ass attitude already. He even mentioned, Las Vegas would definitely be better than what had just happened. I was screaming at the TV.
I also didn’t like how he immediately grabbed his phone and laid down with it on his chest, like he was reminiscing about his ex. I could FEEL it.
THEN let’s not even talk about how he tried to judge all the couples at the airport honey. The ENTIRE F-K?!
Paige, honey? That ain’t God boo!
Jenny: Lest we forget his manipulative crying. Ooooh that had me mad. We saw in the preview for next week that’s an ongoing thing. Ugh. I yelled at my TV when Chris told Paige she disrespected him and he had never disrespected her. Oh ho, bullshit. And to add my two cents on the family, they are garbage. Did Chris have a drink before he slept with Paige? Get bent, Mom! And his dad, leering at her- they really threw Paige into a buzzsaw.
Renee’: He’s such a baby, and his momma is to blame for that. His dad is a straight shooter. I couldn’t believe she said that out loud. Do you know what I thought? Did she raise Brett Kavanaugh? A DRANK? A WHOLE DRANK, LADY? Rapture me, Black Jesus.
What’s your take on this: The ladies at the shop don’t get why she feels her purpose is to be just a “wife”. I personally don't agree with that, but that’s just me. I think she’s setting herself up for heartache, by focusing on the institution of marriage instead of the ingredients of marriage.
How the heck is she going to have babies within the first year and he’s not even attracted to her? He’s not going to want to procreate with HER, for those 7 kids he talks about having.
Jenny: I agree. She’s an accountant, she’s a realtor, she owns a house she rents out- he’s talking about he’s a whole meal- she’s a whole package and he’s lucky to have her. I wish she would quit focusing on her religion and how God must have ordained this, remember free will, and get the heck out of there.
That’s it! He’s a big baby- he cries and everything. It’s to Paige’s credit that when she saw that instead of comforting him she was like, Why are you crying? Good for you, don’t fall for that. His parents are definitely the problem. His father raised him to be shallow and NOT a gentleman, and his mother didn’t raise him to be a grown-up.
Renee’: OOOOOF! Drag her, Jenny! Mama & Papa, and yes, even TT Chris has GOT TO GO! And take his crybaby ass with them. UGH! I can’t deal with this for 12 weeks. BUT I can tell you that I’m looking forward to friend day on this one. I want to sign up to be her friend. Where’s the waiting list? And will God be there, because he needs to be in the front row at this event.
Jenny: I think her friend with the braids in an updo is the only friend who expressed an appropriate amount of alarm about Chris when she wondered if he cut his toenails on planes. More of her, please.
Renee’: And did you see her reaction to him being engaged a few months ago? Typical Black woman. “OH?” “Ok?” as questions. Like you sure you want to say that out loud my brotha? And hell yes, we all need a friend like her, not like Lindsay, Mindy Shiben’s “friend”, from season 10.
Jenny: We all do need a friend like her. Although her saying the only thing she was concerned about was the recent engagement. You know she was also concerned about him saying she was not his “typical type,” because we ALL know what that means. I swear to God, this motherf##ker, the way he was behaving at the reception, I just wanted to punch him in the throat. If a guy acted like that on a date, I’d have tossed a drink in his face and left.
Renee’: While we could spend a whole LOT of time on this couple, what are your thoughts, or not on the other couples. For me, it’s a big YAWN fest. And I’ll break down why on each individual.
Briana: Typically cast, as the beautiful, natural-haired, accomplished Black woman, who ranks high on the wifey material chart. I’m curious to see how she’s going to handle him being a workaholic and having a temper.
Vincent: I truly like this guy, but he reminds me of Cameron Hamilton from Love is Blind. A similar show to this that I am also addicted to if they ever bring it back.
Virginia: Daddy issues are going to be a problem for Erick with Virginia. She’s been single for more than 5 years and hopefully, she can fix the relationship with her father about this, since her real father wasn’t present for her taping.
Erik: Whew chile, does he have his hand full with Virginia! While 7 years isn’t a big deal when you are 47 and he’s 54. It’s a huge difference when he’s 33 and she’s 26. Yikes. I don’t know how Erik is going to handle this one. Especially with his conservative background and family values. I have a real problem with white people who use that term nowadays so I’m going to keep my eye on him and Clara’s family. More on her later.
Haley: I can’t get a good read on her yet, other than I don’t like how she doesn’t even try to understand or get to know her husband, which is why he keeps talking about his beach. I hope she can shake some coconuts from these trees, cause this seems like it’s going to be a STRANDED marriage.
Jacob: I personally like Jacob a lot. I mean A LOT. He reminds me of my brother. No shade to my brother. He just requires a certain touch. He’s older, he’s got more experience and he seems to be a bit out of touch with reality. If he thinks he can pull an 8 or above, he might want to ask his wife what his rating is.
Clara: She has a real problem with control. She’s free-spirited, which of course, is attractive to both men and women, but can that work for Ryan, who is more conservative in his approach and demeanor? I really don’t see her being a conservative, and being raised that way, but I’m sure more of that will be shown in the weeks to come as well.
Ryan: So here’s my issue. The producers were dead wrong in having him be the “minority” face of this show, simply because he overcame. Now thriving in predominantly white communities and careers. He seems sweet, but not necessarily into the vanity that Clar is on. She seems personable enough. I was afraid she was going to be a bit much when she asked for her “tennis shoes...NOW!” . Hopefully she proves me wrong in the weeks to come.
Jenny: I do like Clara, she reminds me a bit of me and I would date the shit out of Ryan. So I am rooting for them. I agree Briana is gorgeous, and I like Vincent a lot. I agree the test will be the temper. He strikes me as not being quick to anger, it’s when he gets there, and producers will make sure he gets there before the eight weeks are up.
Ah, Jacob. He seems nice enough. Haley could not be any less interested in him. Poor guy.
Now, Virginia and Erik- those two seemed like a train wreck on paper. I was shocked when they hit it off. Erik is the old "manniest" 34-year old I have ever seen, and Virginia is an overgrown college kid. But they like each other. I have to concur daddy issues probably factor in on Virginia’s end, but I wonder how big a problem his family is going to be. His attitude that men and women can’t be friends is a coming issue per the previews, but I can smell problems with his mother coming.
Renee’: I really like Virginia and Eric if for nothing more than ratings. I don’t see them being together long though. What are your predictions for making it?
Jenny: Off the bat, I am pretty comfortable predicting that Brianna and Vincent stay together and that Paige and Chris do not. Cashmere comfortable.
For the others, I am interested in seeing how they make it from point A to point B. I would say at the rate they are going unless Haley thaws, I don’t see Jacob and Haley making it either.
Clara and Ryan are more of a wild card for me. Clara definitely likes him and I think Ryan is open to her but still figuring her out. I think she’s going to freak when she finds out he’s never said I love you to anyone. She’ll fall in love with him, it’ll be what happens with him and if it’s enough for her, I think.
And Erik and Virginia- THIS will be interesting. They may be like a star that burns bright and implodes. They might actually build something. I weirdly don’t think feelings will be a problem for them. I think it’ll depend on how their lifestyles mesh. I think he’ll need to loosen up and she’ll need to calm down. If they care about each other enough to meet each other halfway, they may make it. I’m not going to write them off.
Renee’: I’m laughing so hard at cashmere comfortable. LOL! You are hilarious. I agree. Vincent and Briana seem solid. I’m rooting for them for sure. The connection feels genuine to me.
I truly don’t think Chris and Paige make it. I really want to know which one of those red flags in his post-interview made the experts go, “Yep! He’s the one!”
I’m also secretly rooting for Erik and Virginia as I mentioned, and for Clara and Ryan? Snoozefest. I can’t even comment on that.
Jenny: I’m rooting for Erik and Virginia too. I think they make the show interesting for me in a good way. If I were Paige, I would team up with Mindy Shiben to file a class action against the producers for legally binding them to emotionally abusive men. As much as the sociological experiment aspect of this and the social obsession with marriage fascinates me, I have to express concern that producers set up pairings with unhealthy people to elicit ratings at the psychological expense of others. Thoughts?
Renee’: Did you catch the last episode? How do we unpack that? I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet but get ready to locate your eyes when they roll out of your head. Whew.
See you next week for Season 12: Episode 5-6 Recap